Last night lasted an hundred years

emptiness found a thread of hopeless desire pull me
from one room to another
following human sounds
while I was not.

But only a hopeless knot of self pity.

Enough! I
will not go down that too-well
trodden path again,
because of my laziness
and self hunger.

I will not tell you how I feel
nor feel like this.
nor return,
trying to drag you along in my wake of tears.

I do not even ask that you forgive me,
I ask that none forgive me.
I practice this act of newness to forget,
and to be new.
This guilt shame is wearing a shirt too thin,
I will simply to be anew
and so the practice of this I will
is to use to simply be

another

self-death for the death of self pity,
this hopeless one whom i disown,
disavow,
and what is it? Excommunicate.

For a church of the new world
I will build from canvas on the shifting sands
that it be strong,
knowledge-renewable
infinitely flexible
and allow the passage of the winds of change
eternal
happy
joyous.

Do not forgive.

I will it.
then I am so
other.